All We Need is a Little Patience!

I know this is probably a common scenario in many homes, but it seems to happen in mine quite a bit.  Let me paint a picture for you:

I haven’t really talked to Mary for almost 24 hours.  We finally have an opportunity to talk about us……AND BOOM….it happens.  The girls now have something “super important” that needs to be discussed.  As a matter of fact, if we do not allow them to tell us they will implode or possibly the world will come to an end.  My first response (I know you will be shocked by this) is to string them up to a tree and beat them like a pinata.  Unfortunately, most people do not find the ideas that roll through my head to be politically correct (PC).  I then realize I need to find my zen and travel back to a better time with my best friend Axl Rose:

I realize there has to be a better way.  As we know, patience for kids is not something that kids are born with.  Where can this be an issue?  Let’s look at some of the patience issues with my kids:

Sharing a toy – It is interesting, the girls have plenty of toys that they can play with.  They have TONS of dolls (no help to Mary – You’re Welcome).  Well there are only three of them.  Unfortunately, it is weird because when one picks up the most obscure doll in the house, it strangely and quickly becomes the one that everyone wants.  Somehow, the Ariel doll has become popular even though she was tossed in a dark corner for the last several months.

Patience for the Potty –   It seems it exists in the potty arena as well.  You never know when this demon will strike but all it takes is one of them.   Most likely it is when we all sit down to eat, go out to eat or are at the pool….”Daddy, I gotta go potty”.  Somehow it becomes like yawning.  If one has to go….all of them need to go.  At home, we have three bathrooms.  In most cases, the gravitational pull of the one downstairs draws them all in and is a fight of who goes first and what order.  I say to myself…if you need to go so bad, wouldn’t it just be so much easier to run upstairs.  Especially if Bella makes it there first.   It takes her forever like she is plotting with all her stuffed animals how to hold me and Mary hostage so she does not have to eat all of her broccoli.  Needless to say, they bicker about going potty and need to be patient.

Crossing streets – I have seen it one too many times at work or on the news of a little child dashing across the street and they get hit.  It actually is one of my worries (other than boys (Malik I am watching you!), drugs, driving, boys and more boys).  They get so focused on getting across the street that they do not pay attention to the danger of crossing.  In these cases, I have tried to slow them down and look both ways but it is an ongoing struggle.

So what can we do as parents to instill a little patience?

Beat them like a pinata!  Okay people I know its not an option but a good idea.

First, be consistent.  Their little minds are going at 1000000 miles an hour so you have to instill in them some good behaviors.  I try to tell my girls to exit the vehicle and wait until I can get by them before they cross the street.   Could they make it on their own?  Probably….but the one time that I fail to do this and something happens and I would become a wreak.  So to keep consistency I like to have them wait.  I look both ways and make sure it is clear before letting them start out.  I am watching to make sure they are looking both ways and making sure it is clear before they proceed.  If they don’t, I will stop them and have them look to try and change their behavior.  I find it funny how excited they get pretty much anywhere and they want to get there ASAP.  I think a better option here would be to put them all on a leash or possibly shock collars.

Second, make the activity afterward the reward.  Now I am not saying that you need to reward kids after a task.  The last thing I need is for them to remind me that I owe them more….unless it is maybe a hug.  While my hugs are super fantastic, they seem to forget that and want something of value.  However, if you can structure say the benefit of playing outside or going to a museum that was already planned after cleaning a room….it works pretty good.  Girls, we can finally go to the water park when the living room is cleaned up.  Things seem to go quicker when I can bribe them with a fun activity.

Last, make the “waiting time” a game.  For instance, if you have to wait for a bus, make an activity out of it like jumping 10 times the fastest…..or who can hold their breath the longest…..or who can get across a busy 10 lane highway the fastest (think the game Frogger).  This engagement with your kids will take the whole time element out of the waiting game.  *****CAVEAT*****…this will probably make you look silly doing an activity like this in the world…but again….do the world’s opinion really matter if you can prevent the next “Are we there yet” statement?

Okay…there are three things that you can do to make kids more patient.  How about some suggestions on making kids more patient?  I am open to suggestions…..drop one below and it will put a smile on my face!

PETA is coming for me!

I swear…I tried to stop it from happening.  I did not want PETA paying me a house call but I think that they are definitely going to come after the events that occurred tonight.  The girls forced me to do it…its all their fault!  Please do not pick up your direct line and get me in trouble.  This can be our secret….right?

The day started off like any other day.  We made trip to the local watering hole (well the pool) so the girls could get their swim on.  That went well for the first fifteen minutes and then an announcement:

Attention members….Due to circumstances beyond our control, everyone will need to leave the pool immediately.  It will be closed for the next 30 or so minutes.  Thank you for your understanding.

Oh my!  What could it be???

Well it cannot be confirmed or denied but I am thinking that someone dropped a raisinettes in the pool.  Well to make things better, we went to the inside waterpark during that stretch so the girls could continue to swim.  Unfortunately, I think it was this that drove the girls to their behavior later in the evening.

Mary informed me that the girls were planning on going hunting in the evening.  What could it be?  Is a coyote going to meet its demise?  Would a bat be harmed in my yard?  Oh no….It was something that everyone has done at some time in their youth….The capture of lightening bugs!

Some people call them fireflies…but whatever you call them, they are fun to watch and capture.  Mia was prepared.  She had an empty tomato sauce jar to capture her victims.  It was going to be a team event…the lightning bugs had no chance!

The unfortunate part was it does not get dark enough to see them early.  As we watched a cooking show on desserts (Zumbo’s Just Desserts), the time got to about 2030.  I told the girls it was time for bed.  Their response in unison:  No…we are going to catch lightening bugs!  I said that if the bugs were not out now, we would have to do it a different day.  Mia started crying.  Milana immediately ran to the door and screams:  “Daddy I see one!”…and she bolts out the door.  The tears from Mia stopped as she bolted for the door with Bella in tow.

So does PETA wanna visit me yet?  Probably not….but the situation is about to get worse.  I see them grabbing up in the air.  They are screaming everytime they are getting close.  Then Milana says….”I GOT ONE!” and runs towards Mia.  Mia opens the jar and Milana launches the little guy into the jar.  I was proud as me and my brother used to go on hunting expeditions like this all the time.  A few more make it into the jar with the help of the team in between all the screams.

This is where PETA needs to pay attention.  I probably should have given them some instruction on how delicate the little fellas were.  As Mia was running around the yard with 3-4 lightening bugs in the jar…I noticed that they were not lighting up.  Thinking this is weird, I asked to see the jar….WELL, let’s just say that the word GENTLE is not in my kids vocabulary.  All the first captured or lying upside down on the bottom of the jar….not moving and definitely not lighting up.

I rallied the troops and let them know that they have to be gentle with them.  I gave them a couple techniques on how to get them without killing them.  They took the training and effectively captured another 5-6 of them before we had to call it due to the mosquitoes that decided to rain on our parade.  The kids will be back out tomorrow with Uncle Ron at the helm.  Hopefully we do draw protests to our home for the murder of innocent lightening bugs.

Please give us some love and like our Facebook page otherwise I will send the girls over to you….and THEY ARE NOT GENTLE!