I know this is probably a common scenario in many homes, but it seems to happen in mine quite a bit. Let me paint a picture for you:
I haven’t really talked to Mary for almost 24 hours. We finally have an opportunity to talk about us……AND BOOM….it happens. The girls now have something “super important” that needs to be discussed. As a matter of fact, if we do not allow them to tell us they will implode or possibly the world will come to an end. My first response (I know you will be shocked by this) is to string them up to a tree and beat them like a pinata. Unfortunately, most people do not find the ideas that roll through my head to be politically correct (PC). I then realize I need to find my zen and travel back to a better time with my best friend Axl Rose:
I realize there has to be a better way. As we know, patience for kids is not something that kids are born with. Where can this be an issue? Let’s look at some of the patience issues with my kids:
Sharing a toy – It is interesting, the girls have plenty of toys that they can play with. They have TONS of dolls (no help to Mary – You’re Welcome). Well there are only three of them. Unfortunately, it is weird because when one picks up the most obscure doll in the house, it strangely and quickly becomes the one that everyone wants. Somehow, the Ariel doll has become popular even though she was tossed in a dark corner for the last several months.
Patience for the Potty – It seems it exists in the potty arena as well. You never know when this demon will strike but all it takes is one of them. Most likely it is when we all sit down to eat, go out to eat or are at the pool….”Daddy, I gotta go potty”. Somehow it becomes like yawning. If one has to go….all of them need to go. At home, we have three bathrooms. In most cases, the gravitational pull of the one downstairs draws them all in and is a fight of who goes first and what order. I say to myself…if you need to go so bad, wouldn’t it just be so much easier to run upstairs. Especially if Bella makes it there first. It takes her forever like she is plotting with all her stuffed animals how to hold me and Mary hostage so she does not have to eat all of her broccoli. Needless to say, they bicker about going potty and need to be patient.
Crossing streets – I have seen it one too many times at work or on the news of a little child dashing across the street and they get hit. It actually is one of my worries (other than boys (Malik I am watching you!), drugs, driving, boys and more boys). They get so focused on getting across the street that they do not pay attention to the danger of crossing. In these cases, I have tried to slow them down and look both ways but it is an ongoing struggle.
So what can we do as parents to instill a little patience?
Beat them like a pinata! Okay people I know its not an option but a good idea.
First, be consistent. Their little minds are going at 1000000 miles an hour so you have to instill in them some good behaviors. I try to tell my girls to exit the vehicle and wait until I can get by them before they cross the street. Could they make it on their own? Probably….but the one time that I fail to do this and something happens and I would become a wreak. So to keep consistency I like to have them wait. I look both ways and make sure it is clear before letting them start out. I am watching to make sure they are looking both ways and making sure it is clear before they proceed. If they don’t, I will stop them and have them look to try and change their behavior. I find it funny how excited they get pretty much anywhere and they want to get there ASAP. I think a better option here would be to put them all on a leash or possibly shock collars.
Second, make the activity afterward the reward. Now I am not saying that you need to reward kids after a task. The last thing I need is for them to remind me that I owe them more….unless it is maybe a hug. While my hugs are super fantastic, they seem to forget that and want something of value. However, if you can structure say the benefit of playing outside or going to a museum that was already planned after cleaning a room….it works pretty good. Girls, we can finally go to the water park when the living room is cleaned up. Things seem to go quicker when I can bribe them with a fun activity.
Last, make the “waiting time” a game. For instance, if you have to wait for a bus, make an activity out of it like jumping 10 times the fastest…..or who can hold their breath the longest…..or who can get across a busy 10 lane highway the fastest (think the game Frogger). This engagement with your kids will take the whole time element out of the waiting game. *****CAVEAT*****…this will probably make you look silly doing an activity like this in the world…but again….do the world’s opinion really matter if you can prevent the next “Are we there yet” statement?
Okay…there are three things that you can do to make kids more patient. How about some suggestions on making kids more patient? I am open to suggestions…..drop one below and it will put a smile on my face!