Is it true? This Fire Dad is becoming a woman? Well it might be true if you see the types of things that are considered feminine. Take a look at these criteria below to determine how I fare when battling my inner princess. Will I end up a princess……or a macho Fire Dad?
Using Beauty Products
Blackheads Anyone?
Let’s just nip this one in the bud right away. I know there are plenty of guys that will sing the accolades of getting their “manis and pedis” done on a regular basis. Some are very concerned that their cuticles are in perfect form and their hands are soft as butter. You will not find me at the local nail shop anytime soon as I find better ways to spend my time and money. However, I do like to watch some of the videos on Youtube where they use beauty products to do some pretty badass things. I think we can all agree that watching videos where some idiots will do things like waxing and so on will make you giggle.
One thing that interested me is the constant battle with blackheads.
You know you had to watch it! It is pretty cool…..in a car wreck kinda way. I do not have a case like this so Mary decided I needed try a product called a blackhead remover mask. It seemed like a great idea and I needed to know if it would work.
I think Mary ordered it from some place online. In a relatively short period of time, we got it and…….IT SUCKED! Other than a little bit of dry skin…..Nothing was pulled off my face. I thought it would have an effect like the videos above….not so much. In essence, my use of beauty products is for gross guy types of experiments on myself. Mike’s princess score on beauty products….3/10!
Men Who Carry Around Purses
You see it everywhere you go. I see men carrying around bags all the time. I guess it really depends on what bags you carry. Backpacks I have been told are cool so I have one of those to carry stuff to and fro work. Duffel bags are cool I guess also because no one complains when they are carrying their water rescue gear or the same. The issue becomes those bags that women will carry to the beach with longer handles and big area inside. I thought I was in the clear until I realized that I used it all last summer when I took the girls to the pool. Mary received a bag with her initials on it….and I used the shit out of it. Mike’s princess score on bags…..10/10!
Men Wearing Skinny Jeans
Call them nut huggers or skinny jeans, we all know what we are talking about. I am all about comfort instead of look. I hate having tight clothes on me because it makes “things” very uncomfortable when the jeans are a little tight. What I am guilty of sometimes is gaining some weight only to find that I have a muffin top blasting over the top of the jeans. We do have some folks on the department that enjoy being trendy with these tight pants showing off their moose knuckes but I think they would be better suited walking on a runaway and turning in their man cards! Mike’s princess score on skinny jeans….2/10 (because sometimes the pants are too tight causing a muffin top).
Men with Small Dogs
We all love our four legged friends but what does the dog type say about you. Let’s make a mental picture to determine what a macho man really looks like when he is walking down the street. First picture…..Man in tank top, eating a protein bar and walking his German Shepherd named Diesel. Second picture….guy in his skinny jeans, freshly manicured, eating a dragon fruit, dandelion flower in one hand while he is walking his Chiweenie. Which one is a princess? I always have had big dogs so Mike’s Princess score on Small Dogs…..0/10!
Men that Pick The Winning Superbowl Team by Football Helmets
Who would ever desecrate the Superbowl experience by choosing a football team by their helmet? ME THAT’S WHO! Well let me tell you this, the helmet trick actually has done me quite well in the real world. I predicted Superbowl LII by the simple idea of which helmet was better. It is quite clear that the Eagles have a much better helmet than the Patriots. Now if you attempt to have a conversation about the players and their stats with me, you will receive a blank stare as I will have no idea what you are talking about. Is there really a need to know that crap. All I need to know is who won the game and how much money I made off of it. Do you really go to the racetrack and bet horses based on stats and history? I think most people will bet based on the badass names that they have. Mike’s Princess Score on Sports 10/10.
Overall score for Mike’s level of Princess??? 25/50 points. I am middle of the road. I could be much worse and lean more toward my princess side. I’m pretty confident there are plenty of people on the fire department that would score much higher than me as I have heard what they do in their days off. Where do you stand on the list….Be honest because you might be surprised. Let me know if there should be an expanded list to determine your inner princess!