Now while I am sure that men have been pregnant in the past, I want to assure you that I am currently not expecting a child…..for a couple of reasons. First, Mary would wonder who the “donor” would be. Second, she already informed me that three little dirty hamsters (Mia, Milana and Bella) is plenty in the house. Last, I just don’t think I am such bad shape.
No….No…In fact, I know I am not in bad shape. I have read the posts on Facebook of many women talking about “baby weight” and that they have embraced it. Well so have I! Equal rights right? Why can’t I gain some weight. My waist is a little thicker….My ass is moving toward a “ghetto booty”. Alas, if I continue down this path, I will definitely start “twerking” and putting all you sadly mistaken ladies to shame!
Like I said, I have embraced my “Dad Bod”. I see some of the younger whipper snappers at the FD suggest it is easy to lose the weight. I say thee NAY! When I was in my 20s and 30s, I could shed weight just by sleeping…but now it has become a challenge. I actually have to work at it to keep in shape. I see so many people with their little apps and wrist computers showing how many steps they have done for the day. I just get to sit and giggle as they march around and get their “10,000”.
So let’s get back to a statement that I received from one of my girls (does anyone want to adopt 3 potty trained girls???)
Daughter: [Comes up and looks me up and down] Hey dad.
Me: [In a Loving Father Voice and concern since I just got examined by my daughter like I was going through a doctor’s exam] – Yes Honey.
Daughter: [With a giggle] – You have a big belly.
Me: [Trying to act cool like it did not phase me] Well honey it is kinda big but I am working on it.
Daughter: [With a Coy Look on her Face] – Daddy, Are you Pregnant?
Me: [With a look that I want to sell this girl to the lowest gypsy bidder] – Thanks Honey….It makes daddy so happy when you say these things.
Me: [Internal thoughts – Just wait to you become big and fat and I ridicule you in front of all your friends….until then I will be waiting like a panther waiting to STRIKE]
This statement has sent shock waves through my mind….well at least a couple shakes or convulsions because I should not be a Tella Tubby in the line of work that I am in. Therefore, I am officially working on me as a project. When this statement was made, I was at 227 lbs. I probably should have done a few measurements but I was looking kinda gross in the mirror. Doesn’t a mirror add like 50 lbs from what other people see?? I will be starting to write a personal diary somewhere where I walk myself through the path down to 110. 17 lbs? Possible – Hell yes! I have a few ideas on what I can do. Cut down on my sweet tooth…..Work out at the fire station…..just get off my fat ass everyday and move around.
I might make it public….I may not but it will be a journey of what I am doing to make this happen. When is the end date on this? I have til the end of the year. Wish me luck and I’ll keep you informed….Hugs from the Only Pregnant Male that I know of in Illinois!