How could a simple Trunk or Treat day turn so pathetic?
It started out like any other day. Kids waking up parents at the crack ass of dawn. Asking silly question after silly question. Starting about 98% of questions with “Daddy, “. This is all normal stuff up to this point. Then I single-handedly decided to cause a little bit of embarrassment for myself and let the kids enjoy something….well….Pretty pathetic.Mary came up with the idea that this year we were going to dress up for Halloween. As a boy, I grew up with plenty of masculine influences. I have been super heroes, monsters, and other male influenced characters. Hell, there have been plenty of times when I dressed up as myself and when asked what I was….my reply would be “Well, I am being me of course!”. There has never been a time where I would dress up in what was decided for me this year.
Mary wanted something that we both could dress up as. My first thought was to be a minion from Despicable Me. I have been told that I mumble when I talk. Hell, Bella I think messes with me on a regular basis when she continually says, “What? What Daddy?” pretty much each time I tell her something. Did Mary pick a Minion? OF COURSE NOT! My choice was to dress up as Maverick and Goose from Top Gun. As much as I think I should be Maverick….well cause I am totally cool, I decided to let her take that role with a cute little Top Gun dress. I was planning on getting a blow up goose floatie thing and walk around with it. Response from Mary…No. Damn it there goes one of my killer ideas. She next suggests M & M’s since everyone has an M name. I like it and find some costumes. That does not last long as I’m told we are now going to do something that still makes me cringe.We are going to be God Damn Rainbow Colored Unicorns! Oh these are not even very manly colored unicorns….They are pastel. Holy cow. I am going to regret this, especially if anyone sees me. So I decide why not go to Trunk or Treat with the girls and really come out…..of the mini van.
If you have never been to a Trunk or Treat….it was quite fun! We participated in the one at Zion Lutheran School/Church in Marengo since all the girls have gone there and I love the people. So just close your eyes for a moment and visualize a 6′ 3″ inch guy in a pastel colored unicorn costume that is made for only a 6′ person driving a minivan filled with girls. It was PURE MAGIC. The girls all trunk or treated and then made their way over to games which gave them even more candy. As that was not enough, they decided to do a cake walk and I got suckered into participating. Oh and I was so happy to find out that Mary decided to record the whole thing. Please enjoy the video below as it is made with much love. While you will see I did not win….at least Bella came away with three awesome cupcakes which I plan on eating….by myself! Pastel colored Unicorns need to eat so they don’t waste away right?