Things were getting a little quiet around here. Three girls and a dog just are not enough in this household. What is important to note is that Fozzie and myself are a little outweighed in this house. Now while that “time” has not occurred where all the women start their “sync”, there was a very special need to have more of a balance in the household. In other words, there needed to balance in the Force (you’re welcome for the nerd reference Troiani:)~~~
So to balance the hormones in the house required a new addition. Welcome baby Gonzo! While he will never walk on two legs, he is a pretty bad ass little fella. When Mary mentioned this was a possibility due to a new litter from the same place that we got Fozzie, I was all in. The nice thing was that he was making a pilgrimage from Iowa to drop a dog off in New Lennox. Thankfully, his route came right by our exit. He ended up stopping by with a ton of puppies!
I wanted to make this a very democratic process. I figured the dogs would show up, the girls would like the dog that I wanted and that is what we would get. Unfortunately, it did not turn out quite like I planned. The breeder showed up. Mary told him we were looking for another male Labradoodle (yeah…another male!) At least that was a step in the right direction. He ended up about five males for us to choose from.
To make a long story short, I chose a playful little black fellow that seemed to be pretty friendly even with the neighbors that ended up showing up to see the litter. Milana picked a Chocolate Labradoodle….Mia picked a white one and Bella was indecisive just switching from the white one and the chocolate one depending on which sister was sharing at the moment. A good dad would have chosen between the ones “adored” by his daughter’s. A good dad might have even bought them both. A good dad would want to see a smile on his girls faces! Well screw that!
Fortunately, when you are a bad ass like myself you carry this thing called the Fire Dad Veto! I ended up taking the friendly little black one which NO ONE wanted. I tried to explain that I have a good track record for choosing the right dog. I tried to explain that I knew what I was doing. Yeah…that was an epic fail. Mia started crying she would never love Gonzo because it was not the white one that she wanted. Milana was not happy either (the damn brown one was the runt!). Bella was upset that I was not listening to her sisters. I am an evil dad!
Fast forward one week and guess what???? I made a GREAT decision. Mia holds Gonzo like her baby. Milana carries him around like her own little doll. Bella is just happy there is a dog that is smaller than she is. He seems like a solid little puppy and is smart as a whip. So what is comes down to is sometimes dad knows best…and in this case it appears to be the case. Welcome little Gonzo…I’m sure you will add some memories…as soon as you stop shitting on the carpet!
Have you ever been called a golf bitch? Well neither have I to be perfectly honest. But as my momma used to tell me, “Son, Actions speak louder than words!”. It all started out like any other day in the Przybylski Chalet. My kids were running around like a bunch of wild animals in need of a tranquilizer dart, Mary carried the dart gun but was out of ammo from the previous day and I was doing something extremely important like putting my feet up, watching some television or plucking hairs from my ears (which seems to becoming more frequent).
In all of our infinite wisdom, we decided that the girls would benefit from being involved in some golf lessons. Well to be perfectly honest, it was a selfish decision, as I am attempting to pick the “low hanging fruit” for potential scholarships later on in their college lives. Let’s be honest…If you know me and my level and sports “skills” we all know they are doomed! Getting a scholarship in those highly competitive sports for me would be like me winning the damn lottery.
I have been counseled by many parents that have kids ready to enter college who advise that sports like bowling, archery, lacrosse and golf for girls have tremendous potential for scholarships. Hey Mia, Milana and Bella….I love you loads but college costs are ridiculous and we are gonna need all the help we can get to offset college costs. Hmmmm…..or I could fashion it like this. Your choice – school or marriage? Okay, well the school payment option is not so bad after all!
It is important to note that I am all in on this golf thing. I thought what else do you need other than a couple of golf balls and a set of clubs. We ended up getting a “junior” set for both girls for a total of $100! Cheap so far and my girls seem to want to make this happen. We find out from one of Mia’s friend’s moms that a local golf course is providing lessons for kids 5 and up. We signed them up for 4 hour long sessions. So far this is looking good.
I drive them to their first day of practice. As we are driving, I am probably the most excited. I am thinking my future obligation for college expenses is slowly slipping away. I can retire like a king…have a butler, a maid, a couple of dogs. I won’t have to do a thing. I can sit and relax, drink my girlie drinks and catch some sunshine. Ah retirement….I’m just gonna pamper myself. Then reality set in!
We pull up at the golf course. I open the back of the van and tell the girls to grab their bags so they can march in for their first lesson. They both look at me, look at their bags and then back at me. Oh shit…I get it…I am the golf bitch. The only thing they wanted to do from the fantasy going on in my mind was to march to their lesson. Oh…..so now dad became the caddie. I felt like Happy Gilmore being smacked down by Bob Barker.
As I am walking toward the the lobby, I was telling myself the reason that I bought these damn clubs and bags was because they were made for little kids to cart their own clubs. It is a backpack style and it only weighed about 10lbs. Either way, I was being a good caddie and got their bags setup on the putting green.
All in all being the golf bitch was a small price to pay. I decided to stick around to watch the girls practice their new game. While they are not Tiger Woods at this point, I was throughly impressed with how well they picked up putting and driving on their first day. There were a couple points where Milana became frustrated but I helped her move past those moments and she really has come around.
I am hoping that they stick with golf as it is something that I can enjoy with them until they start making me look crappy on the golf course (this is not hard to do). I think this will help them not only develop friendships with other like minded kids but also gets them away from the house and their tablets for a little bit!
I am really not sure how to answer this question. It seems like we function quite well….for the most part. However, there are certain actions and activities that make me question this……ON A DAILY BASIS. Having four women in the house, me and my buddy Fozzie are a little out numbered but I thought that I was pretty familiar with how girls should act/behave even outside the public eye. From my understanding, girls are supposed to be sugar and spice and everything nice. Apparently, Mia, Milana and Bella did not get the memo.
Oh I know what you are saying (if you know the evil Triad), but Mike, they are so well behaved when they come over. But mike, they are so good in school. Well folks let me tell you a couple stories so that you can get a true picture of what goes on behind closed doors at the abode!
Because Mary and I had a strong belief that family meals were important, we try to make it a priority to eat together as a family. If I only had a video camera to record what truly goes on at “family time”. It all starts off normal. The meal is prepared. It is portioned out on everyone’s plate. Everyone sits down and starts to eat. Sounds pretty normal right? Well this is where it gets interesting.
Stage 1: Parents become an Encyclopedia Britannica – This is the first part of our dysfunctional dinner time. It starts with pretty simple questions about virtually anything that exists in the world. At some point, it changes into complex questions that would require lengthy discussions from a NASA expert, a philosophical genius, or possibly Nikola Tesla to discuss the differences between AC and DC current. The questions do not stop and at certain times I think they just ask questions to hear their voices or see if Mary and I will voluntarily call an ambulance to take us to the nearest mental health clinic.
Stage 2: The Poop Factor – As you can probably tell, there is some healthy discussions that go on at our dinner table and we can probably solve about 95% of the world’s problems. Unfortunately, this would only be possible if we all could sit and have our discussions uninterrupted by multiple bathroom breaks. It doesn’t matter if all of the girls are marched into the bathroom right before we sit down to eat. At least one or two of them need to take a trip to the bathroom. I am thinking that there is some sort of gravitational force underneath our dinner table that focuses on the food that goes into the girls mouths. I think somehow it bypasses the normal passage and goes to the “end of the road”. Maybe this could be one of our discussions in Stage 1?
Stage 2.5: The Bella Factor – Not that the bathroom break is true bliss, but Bella has a new trick for her turn on the potty. Not only will she let us know that she is done with her fecal assault….she has a new weapon in the arsenal. It has been reported that Bella will now “trick you” by calling you in the bathroom. Unbeknownst to the “sucker” is that she will be ass up and facing you….butt cheeks spread apart with a statement similar to “Is is all gone?”. Who in the hell does this? I seriously think that she is possessed by Chucky the doll. I could possibly understand this from a boy but not from a sugar and spice girl!
Stage 3: Burps and Chair Rattlers – If all these things were not bad enough….The girls seem to think that burping and farting at the dinner table is super funny. I guess I might have given the green light for this behavior by “accidentally” doing this myself and also laughing when they did it initially. Unfortunately, it has gotten out of hand. They are more defined burps than a drunken sailor….More defined farts than even I can produce! They giggle and say “excuse me”. I try to explain to them that “excuse me” does not give them “golden ticket” to turn our dinner into a war zone. Their response….more giggling and cute little smiles. Ah damn it…All if forgiven. Hopefully, their future significant others will be able to weather the storm.
I am hoping that this type of behavior occurs in other families as I cannot think that I am the only one that deals with these issues. Please leave a comment below and let me know what types of “normal” behavior happens at your dinner table….Do you have the dysfunctional dinner table too?
There is no doubt about it….I am getting older everyday. Shocker right? With the line of work that firefighters are involved in, age does have an impact on everything we do. The funny sounds that seem to appear every day when we get up. Are they not awesome? Well let’s not discuss those things today but yet focus on how the girls are “seeing” the horrors of old age!
It was a quiet day like any other day. Actually it was a little too quiet as in the girls were not making too much sound. This is highly unusual in that someone is ALWAYS making some sort of noise in or around the house. This led me to an investigation. I checked downstairs and the lights were off. I checked the first floor and still nothing. Hmmm….where could they be. The door to the master bedroom was closed but I heard a little commotion behind it. I quickly flew up to the stairs to see what was truly going on. I kicked in the door to the bedroom and still nothing but the bathroom light was on and there was a muffled discussion going on. Hmmmm…What could it be??
To my surprise, I saw Mary leaning over the sink with her hair over her head (think Cousin Itt from the Addams Family). She wasn’t alone though! Milana was in the room with her. Milana looks at me with a slight expression of surprise on her face. Here is how the conversation goes:
Daddy: Milana what are you doing?
Milana: I’m helping Mommy with her white hair.
Daddy: (giggles are ready to explode out of me) You are doing what?
Mary: She is helping me with my gray hair. Do you have a problem?
Daddy: I guess not. Have fun.
In the past this used to be an individual affair as Mary did this on her own….hiding out in the bathroom like everyone would have chased her out of the house with pitchforks and torches if we found out. What is worse is that she has now recruited Milana to help her with her “dirty little secret”. Apparently, the gray hairs is a big deal with women and they hunt them like Luke Skywalker hunting down Darth Vader. Annihilate them at all costs and spare no prisoners!
After this episode is over, Mary comes up to me to let me know that I have gray hair. She noticed it is my 5 o’clock shadow. She tells me it is becoming more pronounced. My response, “I don’t care”. It makes me looks more distinguished. I am getting closer to my idol….007! Shit…I have a lot of things that are proving that I am getting older. I have gray hair. Maybe it is time to start dyeing my hair. Nah…that just seems like a royal pain in the ass and waste of time. It’s like cutting grass. As soon as you are done, you’ll be doing it again.
I’ve been told that I am balding. OH SHIT! Wait, not really a big deal. It has been a good 45 year run and I’m not there yet. I could do some bad ass comb over maneuvers to see if that might work. I could go the route of Brian Urlacher and get some plugs put in. Both options really are not important to me. Bring on au natural! I’ll just let time takes its toll on me….I’ll just cut it short and it will look normal!
This age thing is something that we cannot change. It keeps creeping up on everyone every day. As quickly as I see my girls growing, I know that I am aging just as quickly. I wish I could slow it down to make sure I do not miss any of the important times in their lives but we all know that that cannot happen. The best I can do is enjoy what I have and not sweat the small stuff like gray hairs, balding head or sagginess in other areas:)~~~~
I know this is probably a common scenario in many homes, but it seems to happen in mine quite a bit. Let me paint a picture for you:
I haven’t really talked to Mary for almost 24 hours. We finally have an opportunity to talk about us……AND BOOM….it happens. The girls now have something “super important” that needs to be discussed. As a matter of fact, if we do not allow them to tell us they will implode or possibly the world will come to an end. My first response (I know you will be shocked by this) is to string them up to a tree and beat them like a pinata. Unfortunately, most people do not find the ideas that roll through my head to be politically correct (PC). I then realize I need to find my zen and travel back to a better time with my best friend Axl Rose:
I realize there has to be a better way. As we know, patience for kids is not something that kids are born with. Where can this be an issue? Let’s look at some of the patience issues with my kids:
Sharing a toy – It is interesting, the girls have plenty of toys that they can play with. They have TONS of dolls (no help to Mary – You’re Welcome). Well there are only three of them. Unfortunately, it is weird because when one picks up the most obscure doll in the house, it strangely and quickly becomes the one that everyone wants. Somehow, the Ariel doll has become popular even though she was tossed in a dark corner for the last several months.
Patience for the Potty – It seems it exists in the potty arena as well. You never know when this demon will strike but all it takes is one of them. Most likely it is when we all sit down to eat, go out to eat or are at the pool….”Daddy, I gotta go potty”. Somehow it becomes like yawning. If one has to go….all of them need to go. At home, we have three bathrooms. In most cases, the gravitational pull of the one downstairs draws them all in and is a fight of who goes first and what order. I say to myself…if you need to go so bad, wouldn’t it just be so much easier to run upstairs. Especially if Bella makes it there first. It takes her forever like she is plotting with all her stuffed animals how to hold me and Mary hostage so she does not have to eat all of her broccoli. Needless to say, they bicker about going potty and need to be patient.
Crossing streets – I have seen it one too many times at work or on the news of a little child dashing across the street and they get hit. It actually is one of my worries (other than boys (Malik I am watching you!), drugs, driving, boys and more boys). They get so focused on getting across the street that they do not pay attention to the danger of crossing. In these cases, I have tried to slow them down and look both ways but it is an ongoing struggle.
So what can we do as parents to instill a little patience?
Beat them like a pinata! Okay people I know its not an option but a good idea.
First, be consistent. Their little minds are going at 1000000 miles an hour so you have to instill in them some good behaviors. I try to tell my girls to exit the vehicle and wait until I can get by them before they cross the street. Could they make it on their own? Probably….but the one time that I fail to do this and something happens and I would become a wreak. So to keep consistency I like to have them wait. I look both ways and make sure it is clear before letting them start out. I am watching to make sure they are looking both ways and making sure it is clear before they proceed. If they don’t, I will stop them and have them look to try and change their behavior. I find it funny how excited they get pretty much anywhere and they want to get there ASAP. I think a better option here would be to put them all on a leash or possibly shock collars.
Second, make the activity afterward the reward. Now I am not saying that you need to reward kids after a task. The last thing I need is for them to remind me that I owe them more….unless it is maybe a hug. While my hugs are super fantastic, they seem to forget that and want something of value. However, if you can structure say the benefit of playing outside or going to a museum that was already planned after cleaning a room….it works pretty good. Girls, we can finally go to the water park when the living room is cleaned up. Things seem to go quicker when I can bribe them with a fun activity.
Last, make the “waiting time” a game. For instance, if you have to wait for a bus, make an activity out of it like jumping 10 times the fastest…..or who can hold their breath the longest…..or who can get across a busy 10 lane highway the fastest (think the game Frogger). This engagement with your kids will take the whole time element out of the waiting game. *****CAVEAT*****…this will probably make you look silly doing an activity like this in the world…but again….do the world’s opinion really matter if you can prevent the next “Are we there yet” statement?
Okay…there are three things that you can do to make kids more patient. How about some suggestions on making kids more patient? I am open to suggestions…..drop one below and it will put a smile on my face!
I swear…I tried to stop it from happening. I did not want PETA paying me a house call but I think that they are definitely going to come after the events that occurred tonight. The girls forced me to do it…its all their fault! Please do not pick up your direct line and get me in trouble. This can be our secret….right?
The day started off like any other day. We made trip to the local watering hole (well the pool) so the girls could get their swim on. That went well for the first fifteen minutes and then an announcement:
Attention members….Due to circumstances beyond our control, everyone will need to leave the pool immediately. It will be closed for the next 30 or so minutes. Thank you for your understanding.
Oh my! What could it be???
Well it cannot be confirmed or denied but I am thinking that someone dropped a raisinettes in the pool. Well to make things better, we went to the inside waterpark during that stretch so the girls could continue to swim. Unfortunately, I think it was this that drove the girls to their behavior later in the evening.
Mary informed me that the girls were planning on going hunting in the evening. What could it be? Is a coyote going to meet its demise? Would a bat be harmed in my yard? Oh no….It was something that everyone has done at some time in their youth….The capture of lightening bugs!
Some people call them fireflies…but whatever you call them, they are fun to watch and capture. Mia was prepared. She had an empty tomato sauce jar to capture her victims. It was going to be a team event…the lightning bugs had no chance!
The unfortunate part was it does not get dark enough to see them early. As we watched a cooking show on desserts (Zumbo’s Just Desserts), the time got to about 2030. I told the girls it was time for bed. Their response in unison: No…we are going to catch lightening bugs! I said that if the bugs were not out now, we would have to do it a different day. Mia started crying. Milana immediately ran to the door and screams: “Daddy I see one!”…and she bolts out the door. The tears from Mia stopped as she bolted for the door with Bella in tow.
So does PETA wanna visit me yet? Probably not….but the situation is about to get worse. I see them grabbing up in the air. They are screaming everytime they are getting close. Then Milana says….”I GOT ONE!” and runs towards Mia. Mia opens the jar and Milana launches the little guy into the jar. I was proud as me and my brother used to go on hunting expeditions like this all the time. A few more make it into the jar with the help of the team in between all the screams.
This is where PETA needs to pay attention. I probably should have given them some instruction on how delicate the little fellas were. As Mia was running around the yard with 3-4 lightening bugs in the jar…I noticed that they were not lighting up. Thinking this is weird, I asked to see the jar….WELL, let’s just say that the word GENTLE is not in my kids vocabulary. All the first captured or lying upside down on the bottom of the jar….not moving and definitely not lighting up.
I rallied the troops and let them know that they have to be gentle with them. I gave them a couple techniques on how to get them without killing them. They took the training and effectively captured another 5-6 of them before we had to call it due to the mosquitoes that decided to rain on our parade. The kids will be back out tomorrow with Uncle Ron at the helm. Hopefully we do draw protests to our home for the murder of innocent lightening bugs.
Please give us some love and like our Facebook page otherwise I will send the girls over to you….and THEY ARE NOT GENTLE!
What the hell does that even mean? Well, if you are a Captain Underpants aficionado, you would know that the letters can be jumbled into a very interesting saying that seems to be prevalent around my house: Come See My Hairy Armpits! (It really doesn’t but it was funny just checking). If you have not seen the movie, its quite alright as I did not up until recently when it showed up in Netflix. The interesting part is this saying (actually a derivative) of it showed up many months before I saw the movie and did not know that is were it came from.
One day I am sitting in the kitchen getting ready for dinner, Bella charges in, lifts her arms up and says, “Daddy, Smell my Hairy Armpits!.” I would have loved to have a camera pointed at my face as these words came out of her mouth. I’m sure it would have been priceless. After the shock set in, I did what every other parent probably would have done…punished her! KIDDING. I laughed my ass off. I’m sure it probably would have been better to probably stop it from continuing but damn it that was pretty funny. She quickly caught on that I thought it was funny and now regularly goes through the house and tells EVERYONE to smell her hairy armpits.
Bella is my little court jester. She loves to say the most bizarre thing to me and Mary. I’m not sure where she picks half the stuff up. Half the time I am convinced she has no clue about what she is talking about but maybe her pre school education is paying off! I’m looking forward to what next year brings.
This evening, I was putting them to bed. As always we have a bedtime ritual to make the process smoother for everyone. Part of their ritual is that I give them each a hug and kiss and tell them I love them. After that, I will normally rub and scratch their back. I am not sure how that became part of the ritual but now it is a staple and I cannot go downstairs until each get their backs rubbed and scratched. So Mia was first and went off with a hitch…as did Milana’s. My final child was not as easy. I rubbed her back and she immediately told me to “scratch”. I did what I was told. She rolled over and now was facing me. She then says, “Daddy….You just popped a zit on my back!” Thinking that I misunderstood her, I said “What?”. She then repeated it for a second time. I asked her if she even knew what a “zit” was. Her response, “yeah, its a thing on your back”. That pretty much answered my question so I just laughed realizing that she just out foxed me.
Again, I’m not sure where she gets these things from. Maybe she comes in and sees me doing something in the mirror all while verbalizing it…I’m just not sure. Either way, my little Bella Bean makes me giggle regularly with the stuff that comes out of her mouth. I might be laughing now….hopefully it won’t come to bite me in the ass later on.
If you have been following Firedads.com recently, you are aware that we went to the doctor for Milana to get her “check up” for Kindergarten. That is where she played the nurses into giving her a popsicle and an extra sucker. At this same point, we were advised of the results of her blood tests. Her iron levels were lower than normal and have gone down since her last blood check.
The doctor said that we could start introducing her to food that was rich in iron. WELL….she is My Miss Picky Pants when it comes eating. She has no desire to eat anything that has any flavor or is spicy. If we could just take a box of noodles, cook it and add butter to them…she would be the happiest little person in the world. I needed other options because I can not see her changing her eating habits.
I guess I cannot blame her since I was known as the PB and J kid at my house.
Mom: Mikey what do you want for lunch.
Mike: PB and J
Mom: What do you want for dinner?
Mike: PB and J
Now I might be dating myself here but when Battlestar Galactica first aired in the 70s (I know you people have me pegged at about 20ish but I’m not), we looked forward to watching it with my dad. This particular day she made the green demon vegetable: Broccoli. And this particular day, I think my mom was being a masokist because she decided to give me a big pile of this green crap…the size of one of Fozzie’s poops! Needless to say, the PB and J boy was not having it! So I did what most kids will do…I boycotted! My dad told me that I was not leaving the table until the brocolli disappeared. Now while ideas of taking it and throwing it in the garbage crossed my mind…I knew he would find out and it would mean BIG PROBLEMS for me. 7 bells chimed and I heard the theme song start up
And YES….This has scarred me to this day. I attempted to look around the corner from the kitchen to catch glimpses of the Cylons….only to be scolded and told to sit back at the table. Damn it…what is a kid to do? The only option was to eat the green demon. With full glass of milk in hand, I would put a big piece in my mouth followed by milk and swallow it. I’ll show them….if I choke I thought! I didn’t and finally got the last piece done in time to enjoy the last 30 minutes.
This was the dance that would go on EVERY day when I did not get my PB and J. The staples of kids: Pizza, hot dogs, etc. I wanted nothing to do with them. Guess what? I won the war of attrition and they gave in but I had to take an iron tablet as well due to my “extensive” palette.
Milana is following in her Daddy’s footsteps when it comes to her palette. Mary ended up picking up a Flintstones vitamin with iron in it. She thought it was great. She gets to have a piece of candy each day and gets her daily amount. Her little body is not as happy with her. One of those unfortunate side effects of iron tablets is increased constipation.
Enter the Pre-school Prom on Friday. All was going well until about 1/2 way through. Milana felt nature calling. Went to the potty and…..NOTHING. My little princess was full of shit or FOS (for my medical friends). So now what? I’m not getting anywhere close to the blow hole to stick any suppository up there. My thought was to have her drink some prune juice…well a lot. It seems to work really good. Had Mia take some when she was a baby. No one gave me directions on how much to give. Well let’s just say I might have given her WAY TOO MUCH because it looked like something was murdered in her diaper with brown blood.
Thankfully, the issue resolved itself without having to do my prune juice fix. Milana is no longer FOS for the moment and was told that maybe she should start eating more iron rich food. She has adjusted a little but butter noodles still is her staple. We will see if I get to experiment on her to check how much Liquid Plumber (prune juice) it will take to clear the clog!
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I know. This blog is setup to talk about REAL IMPORTANT dad issues. Things that seem to make a family a bonding experience like vomit, farts and poop. Thankfully, we can post today on something that was special and important to the girls….Mother’s Day!
To say that they were excited about things that they made for Mary would be an understatement. The unfortunate part is NONE of my girls can keep a secret from Mary. I think sometimes that she uses some voodoo mind games on them because they will spill the beans. Most of the time she does not need to even ask them a question. It’s like when I did my first confession. I was so scared that the priest was going to come through and whack me on the head, I confessed to things that I did, thought about doing and things that other people did just to make sure I covered it all.
Milana made Mary a oven mitt with her hand prints on it. Could she keep a lid on it? NOPE! While she did not say what it was, she gave enough information that she could figure it out. “Mom, Don’t go in my closet because your Mother’s Day Gift is in there”. Bella is no better, “Mom, I made you [insert item] for [insert special day]. I should have known better than to bring the girls with to get a card but I wanted them to help me pick out something special.
We had some errands to run so we made a stop at the local Walmart. Of course, they have it set up right as you walk in the door with a Mother’s Day display. On it there was plenty of cards. Well, let’s just say, I hope no one takes the front card because the girls beat some of them up pretty good looking inside. Milana wanted a card with a charm on it. “Oh Daddy, let’s get this one! Mommy will love the necklace.” I said, “Milana you mean you want it right?” She said, “No Daddy” then smiled and put the card back. Bella the brute was pulling cards and by the time she got done with them, they looked like origami. We finally decided on this huge “poster board” card. It was big and had flowers on it…just what girls love. As we were driving in the car, I told the girls that they could not mention the card to Mommy. They all agreed! I told them that they would lose 10 stars (reward system in the house). They suggested 20 stars and I agreed to 20. I figured they had it!
As we pulled into the subdivision, I reminded them about their promise and the potential to lose 20 stars. They all said they understood. We parked in the driveway. I pulled everything out except the card…figured I could smuggle it in later for the girls to decorate. I was walking in the door with Bella when she turns to Mary (this is where Mary did her voodoo shit) and says, “Mommy, don’t go in daddy’s car there is something in there for you”. My jaw dropped as I turned towards her. She put her head down and ran past me in the house. I think Bella has a weird form of a truth telling type of tourette’s syndrome. How else do you explain this phenomenon. Voodoo Mary smiled because she knew what had happened and did not say a word.
Well to make a long story short, the kids did a great job on the card and it was presented to Mary along with a gift certificate for a massage at a local “hot spot”. The kids (well mostly me) prepared breakfast for her when she got home from work at 7am. She was given an egg and cheese sandwich on a english muffin. Mia masterminded that treat. Milana and Bella assisted with making pancakes. It turns out Mommy did not want any so the pancakes turned into chocolate chip pancakes for the girls.
Dinner was all in my hands. The girls and I went to the store and picked up some King Crab legs, steak, broccoli and a kale salad. Mommy stayed true to her vegetarian diet and would not eat steak. We spent the first several minutes breaking apart the legs for the kids to have crab and then got to enjoy some ourselves. We stuffed her pretty good and then sent her on her way back to work tonight.
Thanks for being a great mommy and be safe on the mean streets of the county!
Please let you friends know about us and make sure you have them like our ….otherwise I send the tattle tale triad to your house to tell everyone about your dirty little secrets!
….otherwise I send the tattle tale triad to your house to tell everyone about your dirty little secrets!