Have you ever heard of a woman named Corinne Maier? I did not either until an article showed up on my of my feeds about a week ago. The article was centered on a concept known as parental regret. Corinne is a mother of two children (keep in mind that this can also be found in fathers) who decided that she would have been better off if she did not have children. Her belief is that her children caused immeasurable harm to her both mentally and financially. Could these “monster” type of parents truly exist in today’s society? Do I understand where they are coming from? More importantly, do I hold some of the same beliefs?
I spent some time looking at the different comments that were made to give the idea of parental regret a fair shake. I think it is unfair for people to attack a woman/man for their own beliefs. People’s beliefs have caused too much harm to people that do not hold the same beliefs as other people. Do I believe that people need to hold the same beliefs? Absolutely not! I think it is important in society that people have the ability to listen to the “evidence” and make their own decisions. There have been plenty of times where I “agree to disagree” with people that I know. If I believe strongly about something, I will normally not be swayed by another person. What I try to do is listen and try and understand other people’s thoughts and see if that will change my mind or cement my beliefs that much more.
When it comes to parental regret, I am not the person that regrets being a parent. Are kids monsters sometimes? Absolutely, I regularly call the girls my little animals. Do they cost me money? Oh my goodness more than you can imagine. One cost me money…..Two I’m am going to take out loans and now with three…..I need to look for a bankruptcy consultant. Okay well not that bad….yet. Can they take their toll on you emotionally? OH MY GOODNESS…unequivocally YES! They can really make some hurtful comments. They can say things that would make a trucker cringe that they picked up at school. This and my oldest is currently only six. So am I regretting my decision to be a Fire Dad? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
My girls provide me with the most joy out of anything in my life. It could be the joy they have with anything that is new. I see what they create in their art classes. I get to see their loss of teeth. I get to be there when they go to the dentist. I get to have they try different foods. I get to be part of their learning. This is a short list because I did not want to bore you with all the little things that lead to joy in my life because of my girls. I try to find ways to make the experiences something that we will always remember while we are together….not saying that money is not an issue but there are ways to have a great experience and not give away the farm.
Now I am not being foolish or blind to think that more challenges do not exist in the future. I fear boys! Not because I do not have any but I know how boys think. I keep picturing myself from the movie “Bad Boys” where Martin Lawrence and Will Smith decide to greet a new boy into the family. Need a refresher on how I plan on acting with a close friend or my brother? Check it out on YouTube:
I plan on being that guy! There are plenty of other things that scare the hell out of me when it comes to my daughters….We can discuss fears in a future post.
The bottom line is that there are some things that I regret doing in my life. I have made mistakes that I wish I could undo but I cannot so I just move on and try to do better in the future. When it comes to parental regret, I can see where these parents are coming from but where they see negatives, I can outweigh them with positives. Where they see problems, I see solutions. Maybe it is the firefighter in me to try and solve the world’s problems (Lord knows we have plenty of them) but regretting being a parent is not me. I love being a dad and I do not seeing that change anytime soon. I am into Parental Delight!
Any of you have any feelings of parental regret? Parental Delight? Let me know below in the comments.