I was reading an article today that I thought I would add my two cents about. The article can be found here and deals with what daughters wished their fathers knew as they were growing up. Normally, I would not incorporate this type of post regarding a few lone wolves PMSing over some wrongs that their fathers did to them. I changed my mind when I saw that the Reddit question ended up garnering 13,000 responses in a 24 hour time period. Obviously, I needed to investigate as I have three of these little troublemakers. I am always willing to learn from the mistakes of others….so I can pretty much make the same mistakes again and again and again.
Getting Knowledgeable About Woman Issues
Women have issues this is not a big surprise (j/k – figured that would get you all tuned in). Let us just say that have “things” go on that are much different than things with boys. Thankfully, none of these “things” has reared its ugly head as of yet. Right now, while they know they are different than boys, they have not figured out how much. I’m not going to lie here but some of the issues do cause me some cold sweats at night. My biggest fear is that all the women in the house start to cycle together. This is the time where Fozzie and I will be living for an “extended” time in the basement together. Occasionally, we will make sure there they have not ended each other.
All that aside, I will always be there to discuss things with them. While it might make me a little queasy at times, based upon my “extensive” medical training I can handle the good, bad and ugly. Discuss periods….I can do it. It’s just blood right? How hard can this be. You want to talk about your feelings for boys? Don’t worry, I’ll take them to the backyard…plenty of spaces for the boys that treat each of you badly. Talk about boobs? I have seen them and know about them. I’ve been to Victoria’s Secret…I read Cosmopolitan magazine…That makes me an expert right? I think I’ll just go to the store to but the tampons and liners with wings…how could that go wrong.
Not Wanting to Scare the Living Hell Out of All Their Boyfriends
Ugh….This one is disappointing that I cannot stand in the doorway scaring all the boys that come into the house. Apparently, girls look at this as being overprotective and leads to them 2nd guessing their decision making ability. While I agree that kids should make their own decisions and thereby learn from their mistakes, I do tend to be overprotective so that they do not “hurt” from bad boys. I am not sure if this one I can give 100% decision making ability to the girls at a younger age. Am I not supposed to say something if one of them decides that dating a 25 year old while they are 14 is okay? Am I not to step in if someone intentionally inflicts harm upon my girls? Am I not to step in at all? No offense to the women that made and support this “rule” but I do not plan on abiding by it strictly. I need to at least scare one boyfriend as I have been watching videos on how to do this right and know I can NAIL IT!
Treat Women With Respect
I talked about this in a previous post. While I agree with this statement, I think it is important that you should treat all people with respect. I try (and I emphasize TRY) to treat all people with respect. Some times….errr um….many times I “slip” a “little” and can be disrespectful. Okay, I never said I was perfect but this is one thing that I need to work on. This is something that I am working on with the girls as I think something that has been forgotten by some of the children these days. I see this in law enforcement where kids will disrespect the police even on minor matters….Why…..because their parents act the same way. The phrase “The apple does not fall far from the tree” holds very true. If I expect the girls to respect others and more importantly themselves, I need to do the same. Does this include the people that drive really shitty?
Careful What You Say to Your Daughters
Just like respect is important to give, it is also important to watch what you say to them. So what the article suggest is that you first call them fat. This builds their internal belief not to be fat….Um that is not true and the article does not say that. The exact opposite is true. While my memory lasts about 10 minutes on good days, the girls can recite VERBATIM what I said months or years prior. It is like their mind is a venus fly trap and my words are the flies. My biggest statement that I repeat to them is that they need to work hard to achieve their goals. That being said, I had to watch myself when I spoke to them when they did well on tests. My mouth started to form the word “smart” but then I stopped. Other articles that I have read stated that telling children that can create issues with them that they are just smart. I went on to tell them that they must have worked really hard to get such good score. More importantly, it was easier to have a conversation with them when they did not score as well as they could have. I simply asked if they had practiced as much as they should have and to my delight I was told that they had not. Guess what happened next time….They practiced more to make sure that they did well.
Learn to Apologize
I can never be wrong. Sorry? Not part of my vocabulary. Stubborn Asshole – Guilty as charged! Apologize? (Puppy Dog Eyes) Do I have to? Meep Meep Meep…Fine…I’m sorry! I guess I will have to concede. My personality has changed considerably (well at least a little bit) since I have had kids. I have changed for the better because the words “I’m sorry” can and have come out more than in the past. Before I could be wrong…Know it and I’d still fight you like a Pitbull locked in for the kill. Two choices for people before was to either give up or knock me out. That being said, I rarely started an argument knowing it was wrong. I started in a good place…was shown I was wrong but then would/could not stop because that would admit defeat. Ugh….The kids have brought be down a level as I have said I was sorry when shown to be wrong….HEY….It is seldom but it does happen. I’m sure I could do better with this because I think I can still be abrasive with the kids….So I’ll add it to my to-do list.
That is about 1/2 of the things that Fire Dads need to know about raising daughters…so this is part 1. I will do my next post with the remaining items. While you are salivating for the next one….Why don’t you be kind (like me :)) and give us a like on Facebook….AND share us with your friends. I hear we have at least 3 fans now!